How to say sorry

Ciao,

It's a new year with a new start.

Of course, we all want to start the year off well and sometimes that means clearing up the old stuff. You can't decorate a room before cleaning it out, right?
For some of us, this merely means looking over old goals, or seeing what you want to change this year, but for others this means really cleaning out their closets. Now, there could be all sorts of yucky stuff in there that we didn't want to see again but some things you can't just shut the door on.

When we need to apologise it can be agonising. Most times we know it needs to be done, and yet somehow there's always a reason not to.
Maybe it wasn't entirely your fault? Yeah, we've all been there.
Perhaps you know they won't accept it? Been there too.
Or maybe you know it's your fault but the mistake was just too big. No amount of sorry-ing will help you this time.

Well, if you're noticing yourself in one of those situations or one like them, then this guide could be for you!


Who's fault was it really?
Think about it now. Don't carry on reading. Just sit for one second and think about it.
Done?
Now was it really your fault? Or was it their's?
Figured it out?
Good.
Now forget it.
Doesn't matter. If apologising needs to be done, ultimatley it's you that wants to do it. You want to get rid of those horrible feelings and put things right? You might know that it's screwed up that you apologise to Suzi because SHE dipped YOUR hair in ink! But when it comes down to it someone who gets a kick from ruining someone's hair is hardly going to be the bigger person and apologise!


Courage
You're going to need to be brave. When you think about it, saying sorry doesn't seem like much and you're hardly going to win a medal for doing it...but if it's so easy, why haven't you done it yet?! Think about why you're doing it, what you hope to acheive from it and what you can do to stop it from happening again.

Do it quickly
Seriously, the longer you leave things the worst they will get. True it may be that eventually they'll just forget about it but you, and them, will feel much, much better if you apologise.

Finding the words
Ever watched a fantastic speech in a movie and tried to say something like that in real life, only to have it crash at your feet? Probably...but you're not going to admit it!
Some people are naturally good with words. I have friends who can spout off improvised Shakespeare, while I try and find where I've got lost in the text! But even people like that have problems with dilemas like this.
You're going to need to look at the situation and find the words accordingly. Apologising to your brother for eating the last Jaffacake won't be the same as apologising to your girlfriend for cheating on them. Different situations, different words.


Keep it short
Saying sorry brings back the event to both parties and can be extremly awkward. Keep it shor but meaningfull.
You need to say:

1. You're sorry
2. Why you're sorry
3. You regret doing what you did, or acting/reacting how you did
4. What you will do to avoid this situation in the future.

It could also be a good idea to tell them that, even if they don't want to forgive you, you came to tell them you're sorry. The rest is down to them.

Move on
Possibly the most important piece of advice I can give you. Once you've said it and they've forgiven you, just move on. Let it go. Learn from it but don't fret about it anymore. It's in the past.

If you're not good with words, try sending a letter or a DECENT E-mail. What we don't want is a text or a quick "I couldn't really be bothered" E-mail.

Well my sweethearts, good luck!
Let me know if it all ticks over alright and if you need a little more help. I'm not exasctly a guru but I'm sure I can find something!

Cuddles and cookies,
Vixxie.